Sadie goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Hanukkah cards. She says to the clerk, “I’d like 50 Hanukkah stamps.”

The clerk asks, “What denomination?”

“Oy vey, has it come to this?” Sadie asks. “Ok, give me three Orthodox, 10 Conservative, and 20 Reform.” 

 

A son asks his father, “Dad, can we get a Hanukkah tree?” 

“Absolutely not,” his father says.

“But why not?”

“The last time we had dealings with a lighted bush, we had to spend 40 years in the desert.”