It was a hot day this week when we all gathered to welcome Dawn Mankow into the Jewish faith. I’m no longer surprised when people want to become Jewish. After all, we have a good product to offer. Yet, I never take it for granted.

Some of the best-known rabbis and educators through Jewish history have been converts or children of converts, which the Talmud refers to as benei gerrim. Even though this term sometimes can be used derogatorily, it also means that gerrim have always been part of the Jewish community. The Talmud continues to say that even some of the grandchildren of Haman, the villain from the Book of Esther, taught Torah in Bnei Brak (BT Gittin 57a). Essentially, this means that one doesn’t have to be born Jewish in order to love, live, and embody Torah.

One of the ideas in connection with conversion to Judaism is to “reject” the person three times. This is to mimic the challenges and obstacles in our lives, particularly as Jews — challenges that compel us to grow deep roots to stand the test of time. But what if the person is already connected to Judaism and to the Jewish people? Wouldn’t rejecting them, even if just to make a point, be too harsh and unnecessary? There must be other ways to find out if someone is serious about converting. This week, I learned that God has His ways of putting obstacles and challenges in the lives of the converts in order to test their sincerity.

A few days before Dawn’s conversion, we learned that the mikvah we were going to use had malfunctioned and was being repaired. We had only a couple of days to find a new mikvah and to book it. That also meant that the rabbi at the first mikvah could not be part of the Bet-Din — the court of three. Then, if that weren’t problem enough, the third rabbi we recruited got a flat tire on the way to the ceremony. At that point, it looked as though we might not have the conversion that day. I asked Dawn what she thought about it. Without hesitation, she said, “God is testing my faith!”  It was then I realized that when Jewish law requires that we “reject” someone looking to convert — to make sure that those who are accepted are earnest — it is not for us to be convinced, but rather for the convert.

The topic of conversion seems always to have been a point of tension between different groups and denominations in the Jewish world, when each believes his or her group is the custodian of the Jewish faith. Recently, Israel’s Chief Rabbinate — the body that oversees religious rituals for Jews in Israel — compiled a list of 160 overseas rabbis from 24 countries, whose authority they refuse to recognize when it comes to certifying Jewishness. Those rabbis mainly come from Reform and Conservative Judaism, which is practiced by the vast majority of North American Jews. The existence of such a list — a blacklist — is creating a rift between overseas Jewish communities and Israeli religious authorities. The list also includes a few Modern Orthodox rabbis, who tend to be more inclusive. One of those rabbis, Avi Weiss, based in Riverdale, NY, thinks the blacklist could “alienate” fellow Jews.

As we begin the month of Av, the month in which our Temple was destroyed because of similar rifts, let us not put people on blacklists, shutting them out. Rather, let us try to bring people into the family of Judaism. As God said to Samuel, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the appearance to the eyes, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Sam 16:7) Real conversion happens in the heart, thus making God the final converter. Only He knows when it really happens. The rest of us can have only an estimated time of conversion.

Chodesh Tov,

—Rabbi Gadi Capela