As a service to the congregation, every five years, The Shofar reminds the congregation to participate in tashlich, the symbolic ritual of casting away one’s sins by throwing crumbs of bread into a body of water. Some people have been known to ask what kind of bread crumbs they should throw. Herewith…

for ordinary sins, white bread

for exotic sins, French bread

for dark sins, pumpernickel

for complex sins, multi-grain

for tasteless sins, rice cakes

for sins of indecision, waffles

for sins committed in haste, matza

for sins under 18 minutes, Shmurah matza

for sins of chutzpah, fresh bread

for committing arson, toast

for committing auto theft, caraway

for being ill-tempered, sourdough

for silliness, nut bread

for not giving full value, shortbread

for excessive use of irony, rye bread

for telling bad jokes, corn bread

for hardening arteries, jelly doughnuts

for being money hungry, enriched bread

for war mongering, Kaiser rolls

for immodest dressing, tarts

for causing injury to others, tortes

for davening off tune, flat bread

for being holier than thou, bagels

for unfairly upbraiding another, challah

for trashing the environment, dumplings

for sins of pride, puff pastry

for sins of the righteous, angel food cake

for selling your soul, devil’s food cake

for substance abuse, stoned wheat

for heavy drugs, poppy seed

for petty larceny, stollen

for timidity, milk toast

for risking one’s life unnecessarily, hero

for being hyper-critical, pancakes

for political skullduggery, Bismarks

for over eating, stuffing bread

for gambling, fortune cookies

for abrasiveness, grits

for being snappish, gingerbread

for impetuosity, quick bread

for negligent slip ups, banana bread

for dropping in without warning, popovers