The first of the ten commandments begins with the word “Anochi,” meaning “I,” as in “I am the Lord your G-d…”

The mystics point out that the first letter in “Anochi” is an aleph—which paradoxically enough is a silent letter. The idea being that before G-d even speaks a word, the world stands in silent anticipation for whatever concrete statement is about to be released from the infinite.

The “silent letter’ before a parent speaks is the word “love.” A child needs to know that no matter what “wisdom” comes from their parent’s mouth, it is preceded by, grounded in, guided by…love. They need to know it, but first, you need to do it. No matter what kind of tzuris and mishegas you have to deal with as a parent, if love isn’t in the very first breath before you speak, keep your words to yourself until it can be.

Rabbi Robert L. Wolkoff