From the Rabbi

On Tu B’Av, the Jewish day of love, I attended a wonderful event honoring Israel Defense Forces soldiers. Shul members Julie Levi and Richard Blau hosted a beautiful dinner for a group of 20 soldiers, who had come from Israel to Fire Island for a week of therapy and relaxation after fighting in Gaza and elsewhere — soldiers who’ve seen many traumatic events, young soldiers who risk their lives to defend the Jewish people. Love is to give.  As they give the Jewish people their body and soul, we want to give them peace of mind, from fire on the battlefield to relaxing on Fire Island.

Many IDF soldiers were rushed into battle in the aftermath of the most heinous attack on the Jewish people since the Holocaust. The destruction, the sights of families murdered in their homes, will stay with them forever. Based on experience, the estimation is that 80% of them will suffer to some degree from post-traumatic stress.

The program is part of the Metiv Israel Psychodrama Center in Jerusalem, in partnership with Jewish communities worldwide to strengthen emotional and mental wellbeing. Now, these young men and women will have the opportunity to participate in the Peace of Mind program on Fire Island. The distance from Israel and the outpouring of communal support during this phase of the therapeutic process play a crucial role in creating a safe, quiet and supportive environment, where participants can let their guard down to fully engage in this healing process.

Moses reminds us never to forget that we are part of a greater community of giving and receiving.  Being grateful is to remember that others did good things for us.  Doing bad in the eyes of G-d is when we forget. When G-d is good to Israel, He remembers them and the covenant. We want the soldiers to forget certain things, while we want to remember their sacrifice. In the words of Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks Zt”l, “These are the soldiers who give Israel peace of mind. So friends, it is our duty to help them find their peace of mind.”

May we remember, love, and give…

—Rabbi Gadi Capela

Dear members and friends,

I was saddened and troubled by the assassination attempt of former president Donald Trump, and for the death and injuries of the other participants in the rally that was held in Butler, Pennsylvania, on July 13. We all need to be aware and concerned. Many countries in the world are going through election seasons now, and the atmosphere is tense, which many believe is adding to the growing violence in our own society and in the world.  But political assassinations render the democratic process null.

Jewish communities must be united and firm about this, regardless of anyone’s political stance. History has shown that no matter what the reason for instability, Jews and other minorities are the first to be affected. In the Talmud, Rabbi Haninah urged people to pray “b’shloma shel malchut — for the peace of the government – for if not for the fear of it, humans would swallow each other alive.” (Pirkei Avot 3:2)  In our case, the peace of the government is the stability of the Constitution and the democratic process.

Our rabbis elaborate on Rabbi Hanina’s comment by referring to the prophet Habakuk, who reflects on the human condition: “Ta’aseh adam kidgei hayam — You have made humans like the fish of the sea,” meaning that just as bigger fish in the sea eat the smaller ones, so stronger people who dominate “swallow” the weak.

Ironically, one of Donald Trump’s insidious proclamations in January 2016 was, “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters.” An unacceptable remark, to be sure. It offended me, as it did many others. I hope he now understands the power of words. Chachamim, hizaharu bedivrachem — the wise should be cautious with their words.  G-d will turn your words back to you. Even the president of the United States possesses human vulnerability.

In the mendacity of life, not everything can be explained. At the Trump rally, one millimeter determined “who will live and who will die.” We can secure ourselves with all protections, secret service or revealed, but King David in Psalm 117 tells us, “Better to depend on Adonai than to trust in mortals; better to depend on Adonai than to trust in the powerful.”

Assassinations, from President John F. Kennedy in 1963 in Dallas, through Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin’s assassination in 1995 in Tel Aviv, marked some of the most serious traumas in the lives of our countries. Let us thank God that such a scenario was avoided at the Trump rally, and let us pray for our country, as we do every Shabbat: “Our God and God of our ancestors, we ask Your blessings for our country — for its government, for its leaders and advisers, and for all who exercise just and rightful authority…May this land, under your Providence, be an influence for good throughout the world, uniting all people in peace and freedom…”

May God keep and protect the stability of the United States of America.

—Rabbi Gadi Capela

Crossing the United States is fascinating, whether by air, auto, water, or train, as I did it this time. I was traveling to my cousin David’s wedding in Ventura, California, and I decided to take the scenic route. It was a different experience. No need to pack and unpack. The food was good, and the company was interesting. We stopped in some of the small towns, usually in the “flyover states.” It took four days and three nights from Penn Station in New York City to Union Station in Los Angeles, giving me ample time to think and muse, especially as it wasn’t easy for me to sleep in a bouncy and rattling train.

One of the memorable experiences was a two-hour conversation with a young Amish man I befriended in the café car as we were crossing the Colorado mountains. Jonas was traveling with his wife and other family members from Indiana to Los Angeles, and eventually on to Tijuana, Mexico, where he could find cheaper dental treatment. (Amish are prohibited to fly, but boats and trains are permissible). I learned that the Amish have no concept of divorce or annulment. That made me think about Danielle and David’s wedding, and marriage in general.  What really makes a bayit ne’eman– a faithful or a strong home?

Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel in Pirkei Avot, the Talmudic ethical tractate, says, “The world stands on three things: Justice, Truth, and Peace,” that humans operate between their need to live the truth and their need for peace, with justice in the center, balancing individual truth and the communal peace. Those who look for absolute truth may sacrifice peace, and those who look only for peace may sacrifice the truth.

The Talmud tells us that our first house, the Temple in Jerusalem, was destroyed because of arguments over the smallest things, the smallest letter of the law. They fought over the little pointy end at the top of the yod, the smallest Hebrew letter. In his 1878 poem, Judah Leib (Leon) Gordon — in the time of the Haskalah, the Jewish Enlightenment — criticizes the rabbis for paying too much attention to the letter of the law, while a woman remains aguna, chained to her abandoning husband. On the other hand, those who avoid any confrontation, may avoid the truth of reality, and perhaps push peace farther away.

In Parashat Naso in the Book of Numbers, we read the story of the woman whose husband suspects her of infidelity, and of the ritual she must endure — drinking the bitter water concocted by the High Priest in the Temple to prove her innocence (or guilt).  Our rabbis explain that the bitterness of the water comes from dipping this very portion of the Torah into the water, allowing the ink to dissolve. However, the name of God is written on it, and it dissolves as well, something downright forbidden. But the Midrash explains that God loves the concept of shalom bayit — peace in the house — so much that He allows even His own name to be erased.

But which comes first, truth or peace? Well, truth must be at the core of everything. But we can at times fudge the truth for the sake of peace, such as telling a bride she is beautiful, even if that may not be so. In that case, one must first recognize the truth, but then immediately pursue peace. The Prophet Zechariah tells us that these are the things you are to do: “Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgement in your courts that are just and lead to peace. Then, when both the truth and peace coexist, the days of mourning and fast will become celebratory days.”

Marriage is like boarding a train ride across the country. It keeps swinging and bouncing, rattling and shaking, while we try to enjoy the view and the company. Sometimes you have to get off the train, take a breather, but stay the course. As long as the conversation between truth and peace is maintained, we will arrive at our destination — a faithful and peaceful home.

May God bless us with peace,

—Rabbi Gadi Capela